The Bullying Doctor


The Lovegrove Approach - the knowledge and skills you need to defuse bullying! UPCOMING WORKSHOPS - Carmarthen 2017!/DefuseBullying tweet @TheBullyingDr


 Hi! I'm Dr Emily Lovegrove (BSc. PhD), a psychologist who
specialises in researching how our appearance affects bullying issues.
And developing successful anti-bullying strategies. If you looked up this page you are probably feeling fed-up about bullying. Here are some quick facts to help you start to feel a bit better FAST!!
1. Don’t feel isolated! Everyone gets bullied. But there are tricks for dealing with it it - and all you need to do is learn them.

2. How can you tell if you’ve been bullied? Don’t worry about definitions of bullying (usually along the lines of ‘it’s only bullying if it’s repeated, deliberate and involves an imbalance of power’). Feeling we've been bullied only has to happen once to put us firmly in our place for a long time. Nor is it always deliberate – we’re probably all guilty of saying something thinking it’s ‘only in fun’ or ‘just being honest’. And what if we feel bullied by someone younger or smaller than us? Let’s just say when we feel humiliated by someone or by circumstances we need to work on feeling better about ourselves fast.

3. If you get bullied it’s not because you deserve it somehow. It’s because the person doing it needs the power. Others join in on the winning side because they fear being next! It's rarely anything to do with you personally.

4. All human behaviour is based on feeling rewarded so if bullies find they gain power and self-esteem from bullying they are not going to change! You’re the one who’s upset so it’s going to have to be you! Not easy but you can do it.

5. Most physical bullying sets off with psychological bullying (making fun of others, leaving them out, spreading rumours). The Lovegrove Approach offers strategies that encourage the emotional, social and problem-solving skills that sort out psychological bullying and make physical bullying much less likely.

6. The Lovegrove Approach is based on a range of successful anti-bullying strategies that increase your self-confidence to tackle bullying that happens to you and to help others. Because this system was developed with young people, it's very popular with school pupils. (As well as adults!)

7. Strategies that make us feel good about ourselves and less judgemental of others are the ones that are ultimately the most successful. 
To pass the usefulness test, each strategy has to:

  • Help us understand why bullying happens

    • Empower us to cope with bullying aimed at us or at others

      The people who cope with bullying best score highly on tests for SOCIAL RESILIENCE, and we can learn that. So what do you have to lose? Go to the Strategies page...

Help! I'm being bullied...

Written for families this is an easy read on The Lovegrove Approach with practical information and exercises for practice. Published by Accent Press at £7.99, available from bookshops and

Julia Donaldson, author of Gruffalo books: "This book sets out a positive and refreshing approach to bullying which really makes sense to children, parents and teachers. I wish it had been around when my own children were at school."

Gervase Phinn, author and broadcaster: Emily, in her clearly written and powerfully persuasive book, considers the causes of bullying and offers so much practical and useful advice for parents and all those who work with children. She stresses that no one deserves to be bullied, that those who are subjected to bullying should realise it is not their fault. Her message is clear: bullying should never be tolerated or ignored because it won’t go away – it must be tackled. This splendid handbook should be on the shelf of every parent and teacher.

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